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Follow my life heading in to year 30, as I document the details. Everything from brands I love, the joys and struggles of balancing my career(s), parenthood marriage and friendship, and everything else along the way.  Something about heading in to my thirties has me looking at things in a whole new light... with an entirely fresh mindset. Hence the name, #ThirtyMinded.

If you're looking for PC... don't count on me. Cheers!

The Best Jean Shorts for Your Figure

The Best Jean Shorts for Your Figure

Okay so first thing is first, I want to address something that heavily weighs on my mind. This is the era of celebrating your body and not shaming people regardless of their build and size... and in Arie Luyendyk Jr.’s famous words... I love that.  So before you read my post and say “people should wear whatever they want regardless of their size” please read on and see this post is to help women of different shapes and sizes who struggle finding shorts they’re confident wearing and hopefully point them in the right direction. For just a minute can we drop the “what people want us to say” and realize regardless of what a woman weighs, body types are a thing and MANY women give a crap about being confident in what they’re wearing if they’re lucky enough to have that luxury (not to go all First World problems on you but I have to remind myself the fact that I’m writing this is just a plain and simple luxury)? People CAN wear whatever they want and people SHOULD wear whatever they’re confident in. So I’m just here to help with that! Sorry for my rant, there’s just so much to be said about it this... Moral of the story, body types are undeniably a thing. So let’s get off our high horses and talk about how to rock some shorts.

 

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Jean Shorts with Stretch

Slender figure

Yes, go for it! This style is great because if you don’t have big hips to keep your shorts up, you have the spandex/stretch element working for you. Also without wide hips you don’t have a lot of extra inner thigh to go around so it won’t look weird when it hugs you there. You can rock these and we are all jealous!

Straight figure

No matter what you weigh, this figure has a waist bust and hip measurement that are all pretty similar and this style of jean shorts would work really well for your figure. Like the slender body style, the stretch will keep your shorts in place! 

Pear / Hourglass or “Small Waist with a Big ‘Ol Booty”

Pear/Hourglass: Both are the same when it comes to shorts unless we are comparing a normal human with a supermodel. Supermodels you can wear anything. So I’m going with an hourglass or pear figure human when it comes to this advice.

This is me (the NON super model option), so trust me with this.. I’ve tried everything. Here’s what I have found: AVOID ANYTHING WITH SPANDEX! Stretch denim shorts do not look good on this body style in my opinion. If you want a saggy butt or your inner thighs to look like they’re grasping for air then sure, go for it. Otherwise, go for denim that lacks elasticity.   

Photo credit: Hudson

Photo credit: Hudson

Post-Partum

No girl, no. Just no. Why on earth would you want tight denim (or any denim honestly) hugging you UNLESS these are a VERY SOFT VERY THIN denim shorts. Keep reading, I’ve got recommendations for you. But this isn't the best!

Apple (Golden Delicious though, am I right?) 

Okay so you’re small on the bottom and you have a mid-section. I would kill to be small on the bottom sometimes. Like, give me all the lean limb genes please in my next life! Okay moving on, you can actually wear denim with stretch and it’ll allow you to buy shorts that look good on your booty because they’ll give in the waist. Pair with a V neck or cute basic loose tank or woven and you’ve got it going on. Probably avoid a belt and tucking in to the stretch jean shorts if you have this bod style, though. 

Plus

First, I’m sure one of the above body styles semi fits you. But if you’re self-identifying as plus size then HELL YES & to jean shorts with stretch I say HELL YES too for comfort but it's a solid MAYBE for how they'll look on you. LONGER would be better otherwise there will be a ride up effect. When I was a size 14 the jean shorts with stretch were SO unflattering and showed every detail but there are a lot more options now than there were 10 years ago. I love the brand Good American for jean shorts with stretch.

I am getting much more to the point on the rest of these recommendations... Thanks for continuing to read :) 

CUFFED JEAN SHORTS

Photo credit: Nordstrom

Photo credit: Nordstrom

Slender

Yes these are super cute on you!  Classy option as they’re a finished look.

Straight

I’ve seen these cut as more of a straight style so these actually work very well for the straight figure. Expect to wear a belt if there’s no stretch! 

Pear / Hourglass

Avoid! They are tighter around the top of the thighs where the cuffs are and therefore make the shorts ride up and grasp on to dear life on your inner thighs while also making the shorts gap at your waist. Unless they’re boyfriend cut, just avoid.

Post-Partum

These are a great style if you go for a mid rise soft denim because they’re a nice complete look that is conservative while you’re constantly bending over to pick up and put your baby down or buckle him/her into their car seat... Some frayed options leave nothing to the imagination for the work you have to be doing constantly.

Apple

These will provide symmetry so to speak and the cuffs make slim legs look even slimmer! Just keep the length on the fingertip or shorter length. Long cuff denim with an apple figure looks FRUMPY.

Plus

Nope nope nope this is just a crotch wedgie waiting to happen. Nope. 

Boyfriend Cut

Photo credit: Nordstrom

Photo credit: Nordstrom

Slender AND Straight

It can look cute don’t get me wrong, styled correctly a slender person can honestly (and to the rest of our dismay) pull anything off but I’m going to go ahead and say the above and below options are WAY better styles for your figure. They’re boyfriend shorts but you may look like the boyfriend in them which if that is your goal, then go for it! But if not, then no.

Pear / Hourglass

YES to BOYFRIEND CUT when they’re in style! Again, unless they have elasticity in them these can be SUPER flattering with a fitted top (don’t go loose top with the loose shorts or you’ll look frumpy, sorry I said it because I’m guilty of doing this all loose everything look) OR tuck a loose top in or tie it. Yay for tying being back in.

Post-Partum

These can be an awesome option due to their loose fit! While I’m not sure you’ll want to wear a fitted top with them there are a lot of other options that could work for this stage where you’re not exactly trying to look sexy, just cute and not pregnant anymore. ;)

Apple

No unless you want to look like a rectangle. Enough said. 

Plus

Yes yes yes! These are SO good! They can also have a slimming effect depending on how you wear them. I prefer cuffed ones! A tucked in shirt and cardigan or even a v neck tank like this one from Z Supply would be SO cute. 

Frayed / Distressed Shorts

Photo credit: Nordstrom

Photo credit: Nordstrom

Slender

Every woman in America envisions what you look like in these shorts when they picture themself in them, and then when they try them on and don’t have your body type it’s a sad day. Work those cut offs, slim ladies.  

Straight

I would think mostly yes on these for a straight body type! Just choose a frayed style that is at a slant with the cut rather than straight across! It’ll slim your legs - a good brand for that is One Teaspoon

Pear / Hourglass

My favorite I am wearing above but they’re amazing for this body style! Raw cut hem or FRAYED DENIM with no stretch. Also I prefer shorts one size up so they don’t squeeze anywhere and I often just wear a belt. Be warned, some styles are TOO short for the junk in the trunk so you’ll want to usually order up a size too.  

Post-Partum  

These are nice because they’re kind of like a “free the thighs” method but I always feel like they’re low cut so be careful and try them on, low cut might not be ideal!

Apple

If these fit your waist then you’ll have a lot of room in the legs and you may look like you’re swimming in this style! 

Plus

This can be a great style because there’s more room in the legs than other styles (which is why I like them the most). They’re a great style for most body types. 

High Waisted Denim Shorts

Photo credit: Nordstrom

Photo credit: Nordstrom

To keep it short and sweet, every body style but an apple would look good in a high waisted denim. High waisted shorts and pants put emphasis on your mid section, so you will want to remember that before buying! If you don't want to emphasize that... choose something else!

I am sure you could find ONE example of each of these that works or does not work to negate my advice above, but again this is just MY experience based on my evolving body and what I have seen out there in the wild. No woman's body can fit in to an exact style, and I know that too. Hopefully this helps guide you a bit in your spring shopping!

MY favorite shorts brands:

Free People (for non stretch and destroyed)
Levis (for high waisted)
Good American (for high waisted and destroyed)
Hudson (for stretch & cuffed)
 

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